Archive for the 'Change Seminar' Category

My Book.

It arrived yesterday by messenger from my publisher – a box. A cardboard box, with my name on the label, and a word written on the front in felt-tip pen: BOOKS.

My books. In hardcover. Like the ones that will hit the bookstore shelves in January and ship from online retailers December 22. It’s beautiful. I opened the box up and the fam huddled around the box. Scott, and Oliver, and Bandit. And the books. Was a pretty cool feeling I must say holding that pretty red book in my hands for the very first time. I ran up to have lunch with my friend Dean Sicoli and handed him one. “Send it to me! I want you to write something in it.”

Cool!

I gave the first inscribed copy of HOW TO CHANGE SOMEONE YOU LOVE to Cathay Che. At Cafe Grumpy. It was anything but.

So, cannot wait to hit the road, Jack, and inscribe one for you and yours.

Here’s to new chapters, and books and such. Powerful punch.

x
Brad

This Fine Life.

Brad Lamm 100109
photo: simone martin

Here I am, at 43 years old. Wow. When my dad was 43 it seemed so old to my young eyes. “Gosh, but you’re old…” I can hear myself telling my pop.

So here I stand. Recovered and learning and helping and growing in life. What a blessed life it is. Hooked no more.

Since that day my friends said STOP – YOU NEED HELP, so much has changed. I’ve gained, and lost. I’ve struggled and triumphed. I’ve quit smoking. I’ve learned to eat right. I got my teeth fixed. I went back to school. Learned how to be an honest man; how to quit lying. Changed alot.

I became a Board-Registered Interventionist and built a vibrant private practice unlike any other in the world. I have helped folks get better and heal in my private and public life.

I got married! I have a blended family – with three pooches and lots of barking depending on the moment. I have worked with thousands of people, including some for The Dr. Oz Show and The Oprah Winfrey Show. My work has helped to begin a shift to the very paradigm of change, and how it happens.

Fine, fine, fine.

I have a book that comes out in a couple months now as a lead title from St. Martin’s Press. Amazing, all of it. Because, back during that summer of 2002 I had given up and given in to the fact that my addictions would kill me. I had tried to stop, but always restarted the things that were killing me day by day. Didn’t know when, but I knew I would not survive much longer on that path. The alcohol, meth, xanax and cigarettes. The rage and pain and blame and shame. Carrying it all around like a sack of dead chickens.

But then change began and life got better. In centimeters at times, progress was made. By yards at still other times, life got better and from the ashes of a broken, defeated, addicted life came wholeness and good.

So be encouraged. To moms, and dads and sisters and wives: Change begins. People recover. And you can help them get there.

Throw out the old lies about hitting bottom, toss away the myths that your loved one has to want to change. When you’re addicted, sometimes all you know is that you want the drug. There is strength in numbers as we step in to interrupt the behavior, the addiction, the chaos and offer a loving change plan.

This is my 2009 count down. It’s been a banner one. Really good. Great even. I’m not the lucky one – you are too. As you step out in faith to create change in your defeat and hopelessness, we’ll do this together.

Onward,
Brad

denial2

|diˈnīəl| (noun) The action of declaring something to be untrue : she shook her head in denial.
• the refusal of something requested or desired : the denial of insurance to people with certain medical conditions.
• Psychology failure to acknowledge an unacceptable truth or emotion or to admit it into consciousness, used as a defense mechanism : you’re living in denial.
______

My OP-ED piece in today’s Journal News

Wrong Way Crash

The Schuler crash: Dispelling the shock and disbelief
Brad Lamm

Like everyone else, I have been reading the coverage of the Diane Schuler case and the tragic loss of eight lives and trying to make sense of the tragedy. Most reading the coverage mourn the lost Hance family children and the unsuspecting victims in the other vehicle struck by wrong-direction driver Schuler, but I see it through a different lens and with a different empathy. In no way do I minimize the profound tragedy – but I see a larger and more dangerous story: That Schuler may have had an alcohol problem that no one saw and that it was on such a grand and deadly scale.

We need to replace the shock and disbelief with a teaching opportunity, in the hope that some meaning might emerge from our collective lament. My lens is different because each day I deal with families that have a living, breathing Diane Schuler in their midst, one that hasn’t had a horrible automobile crash, yet. These families are doing one of two things: enabling and nurturing a vicious cycle of addiction pathology through inaction and fear, or crying out for solutions while at their wits’ end. I feel uniquely poised to direct traffic at these crossroads as I was once very much like Diane Schuler, driving out of control on the wrong side of the highway of life.

My family (like the Hances and the Schulers) was largely unaware of the severity of my addiction to crystal meth, alcohol, cocaine and anything I could drink, snort, smoke or swallow. For 20 years I was the upwardly mobile life of the party, good friend and listener. At home I was a closeted addict and alcoholic, hiding in plain sight with secrets most of my loved ones, family and friends had no idea about. I went to tremendous lengths to keep the truth of my addictions away from those who loved me. I would explain my increasingly off-kilter behavior as “I have a fever . . .” or “My blood sugar must have gotten too low . . . ” or “I have a seizure disorder . . . .” I had the resume of a model citizen, not a common drunk. I was a nice person, from a decent middle-class family. And, yet, I couldn’t beat my addictions. I tried and failed many times.

Fate brought an intervention, rehab and finally recovery. I have since devoted my life to helping families that have a person like me among them, or a person like Diane Schuler – an alcoholic hiding in plain sight. Some of us are enabled. Some of us are obstructed. All of us are equally deadly, and we walk and drive among you.

The real sadness for me in this story is that it’s not at all shocking but completely routine. It’s my story and it’s the story of the family I met last night, and last Saturday and a year ago, and the family I will meet next week. It’s the quintessential addiction tome. The collateral damage one collects as addiction flourishes seems to be the luck of the draw, so a tragedy like the Schuler crash appears unusual to us. But that perspective, until changed, will serve to enflame the pandemic and periodically provide news stories like the Taconic crash.

So I argue that the greater horror is the reality of how many mothers make it home each night as their chronic disease state goes untreated. These afflicted people wreak a slow havoc on the children that make it out of the back seat. They are a catalyst for a lifetime of alienation, and their deterioration is nurtured by those closest to them who are too fearful to take action. They are ticking time bombs driving the wrong way in life . . . only we don’t sober up until someone crashes. I know because I see it every day in my professional capacity, but I really know because I am them and they are me.

Addiction is the only medical disease with its own social support system – friends, spouses and family actually assist the pathology through self-interest or fear. No other ailment enjoys this embrace. No other ailment is as abrupt and unforgiving and actually kills innocent bystanders while hiding in plain sight. And none, as typified by the Shuler story, is as preventable through brutal honesty, invitation and loving engagement for change. If Diane Schuler’s alcoholism was acknowledged for what it was and treated, would eight people be dead today? The answer is no. I know because I was that person.

The writer is a board-registered interventionist who does work in the Lower Hudson Valley. Learn more at ChangeSomeoneYouLove.com.

www.InterventionSpecialists.org

Posted in Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse, Alcohol Intervention, Alcoholism, Brad Lamm, Change, Change Seminar, ChangeBegins Training, Drug Addiction, Drug Intervention, How to Change Someone You Love, Nature vs. Nurture, News of Day, Press, headline | No Comments »

Brad: On WPIX this morning

 

Orange County Register interview w/ Brad

don-lamm

Brad Lamm and his father Donald Lamm

AN ADDICT ATONES
By SAM MILLER

Tuesday, July 14, 2009
He intervenes with compassion
MORNING READ: Brad Lamm gets people into drug recovery by asking, not threatening.
By SAM MILLER
The Orange County Register

The four Lamm boys had a mantra: “I don’t drink, I don’t chew, and I don’t go with girls that do.”

They were the sons of the senior pastor at Friends Church in Yorba Linda. Brad was the youngest, a scholarship kid at a nearby Christian school who offset tuition by washing buses after school.

But at a party one night, when he was 15, he drank a Bartles & James wine cooler.

“I immediately wanted more,” he says. “It wasn’t about fun. It tickled something in my brain.”

Brad kept repeating the family mantra long after he’d stopped living by it. He moved on to meth and hallucinogens. When his parents confronted him, he was a comfortable liar. He kept it together long enough to be junior and senior class president, then he bolted from Yorba Linda for two decades of addiction.

Tonight, at age 43, he’s back in Yorba Linda for the first time. And he’s on a mission.

It’s been 40 years since the classic “intervention” was developed.

The script is familiar. The addict is tricked into the appointment. Family and friends read a list of grievances, demand the addict give up drugs, and threaten him with consequences – stop drinking or you’ll never see your children, for instance. This is what’s called the Johnson Model of intervention, the dominant method since the 1960s.

In recent years, though, the Johnson Model has gotten competition. Some interventionists have tried to make the process gentler, more supportive and less deceptive – a process called an A.R.I.S.E. intervention. Instead of ambushing the addict, they say, loved ones and interventionists should invite them to the intervention. Why begin a process of trust and love with a lie, they ask.

“One of the criticisms of the Johnson Method is it tends to be coercive and can produce a real rupture,” says Richard Rawson, an associate director of integrated substance abuse programs at UCLA.

“The whole field of addiction treatment which had a huge emphasis on confrontational treatment (has been) revolutionized. You don’t beat people over the head with their addiction, and yell at them and tell them they’re in denial. You work with them on their ambivalence to get them into treatment. The system is more human.”

Still, the Johnson Model is dominant in pop culture. It’s become common on TV shows, and the A&E network has turned it into a reality show, where addicts – sometimes minor celebrities, sometimes the crack addict next door – are ambushed.

“I’ve been doing this a long time and I still kind of scratch my head as to why the Johnson Model is practiced,” says Kristina Wandzilek, executive director of Full Circle Intervention, which uses the non-confrontational approach to interventions.

Twenty-five years after that first wine cooler, Lamm finds himself in the center of the dispute.

When he was 35, Lamm got a job as a weatherman for a Fox affiliate in Washington, D.C. He didn’t show up regularly, and reeked of alcohol when he did. His skin was yellowish, his liver was so damaged that his abdomen was distended, and he was drinking about 15 drinks – “big drinks,” he says – every day.

“It was evident to anyone around me that I was having a hard time,” he says. That includes his bosses, who fired him after just a few months.

At that point he had been drinking for 20 years, using cocaine regularly for 15, mixing in methamphetamines in short stretches. But he’d never been in the middle of an intervention.

When he got fired by the TV station, four of his friends invited him to talk about his drinking.

They invited him to make some changes, starting with three months of therapy and daily AA meetings. He would try to stay sober, he would fail, and his friends would meet with him again, in person or by speakerphone.

After six months, they told him he needed more treatment. “I don’t know if they’d even call it an intervention,” he says. “Lead with love, don’t take no for an answer, and leverage the love that exists already.

“I showered and, within 18 hours, I was on a plane to California.”

He entered a treatment facility in Laguna Beach in early 2003. He’s been clean ever since.

A few months ago, a young lawyer in Manhattan was crushing and snorting OxyContin. Her parents were worried about her, so they called Brad. The parents flew up from the southeast; the woman’s grandparents flew down from the northeast; and Brad, who lives in the Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan, called the woman.

“Your folks are in town,” he told her. “They’ve been talking about how scared they are. I suggested a family meeting.” She was shocked, but she agreed.

At that point, he says, the intervention had begun. “We are not going to solve the problems tonight. Our goal is to get her to trust us just enough to help her,” he says. He’ll work with her family, hold weekly phone conversations, and help chart family histories. It will continue for months, if necessary.

He opened a private practice about five years ago, Intervention Specialists, and has done about 400 interventions since then. This winter, St. Martin’s Press is slated to publish his first book about his kinder, gentler interventions.

“The family’s baseline is always, ‘We have to trap them, like an animal,’” he says. “I always have to talk them into making an invitation. I tell them, there’s a place inside you that can either be occupied by fear or hope, and it can’t be both. We get better results with hope.”

For 20 years, Lamm’s life was nothing but fear. He says his grandmother was an addict who spent part of her life in an Oregon mental institution – the one made famous in “One Flew Over A Cuckoo’s Nest.” His grandfather, he says, married six different addicts, before dying of a prescription drug overdose while gardening.

Lamm was close to following their example. Instead, he’ll be in Yorba Linda tonight, at the church where his father used to preach. It’s the first time he’s been back since he got sober, and he’ll be giving a seminar on how to help a loved one overcome addiction using the less confrontational approach.

“I felt the calling of ministry as a boy, but from (age) 15 I knew I was an addict, and there was no room in me for ministry,” he says. “But I found my thing.”

Contact the writer: (714) 796-7884 or sammiller@ocregister.com

Nancy Grace Last Night:

nancy-grace

NANCY GRACE, HOST: Straight out to Brad Lamm, board certified interventionist www.changesomeoneyoulove.com. Brad, thank you for being with us.

BRAD LAMM, BOARD REGISTERED INTERVENTIONIST, CHANGESOMEONEYOULOVE.COM: Thank you.

GRACE: You`re hearing all this about a staged intervention, Jackson locking the family out of Neverland, sticking his fleet of bodyguards on his own family. Not taking calls from his 79-year-old mother. That`s not unusual behavior for a drug addict.

But, Brad, here`s my question. To use this drug, as like your sedative, in the OR, the operating room, you`ve got to be hooked in. That means the doctor has got to be there the whole time you`re hooked in and we know the personal chef that we just saw says he sees oxygen tanks coming in and out and that a doctor would come at night and leave in the morning.

LAMM: Well, I think it`s speaks to the relationship between a person and the drug which is as close as a lover. You know when you step in and try to intervene, it`s like pealing the bark off the trees. So as we here reports about them trying to step in, they did a few things that could have been better.

One, showing up en mass and not taking no for an answer. Really, at an intervention NO is a conversation starter. And, two, and this is really important and I think a lot of people can relate to this. If the kids are involved like in this case they were, you step in and you get the kids out of the situation and oftentimes that will be the thing that will help break through the denial of addiction.

GRACE: But it`s just amazing to me that a doctor — can you just imagine.

LAMM: But Nancy.

GRACE: Can you conjure up the image of a doctor there in a mobile unit, a van, shooting Jackson up and keeping the catheter in the arm overnight?

LAMM: Unfortunately, I can. And if you and I were to step out the studio here at CNN and walk two blocks, we could get these drugs and other drugs within blocks of CNN here. It`s just that easy.

GRACE: Diprivan? You can get that.

LAMM: Absolutely.

GRACE: How?

LAMM: There are just that many doctors.

GRACE: I`ve never in all my years of prosecuting drug use, drug trafficking, I`ve never heard of a Diprivan addict, ever.

LAMM: Well, I think if you can equate a drug dealer with a doctor that`s mis-prescribing, you`ve got a pretty good correlation there.

GRACE: Have you ever seen a case where somebody takes Diprivan every night to sleep intravenously?

LAMM: I haven`t seen Diprivan but I`ve seen other intravenous opiate to use like this.

GRACE: Overnight?

LAMM: To sleep.

GRACE: Or 10 straight hours?

LAMM: I`ve never seen anything like this, to be honest. Yes.

GRACE: You said we could get it a block from CNN?

LAMM: No, I`m sure we could go get Diprivan, though.

Real News: GI Alcohol Abuse Soars

gi_alcohol_soars

Alcohol abuse by GIs soars since ‘03

The rate of Army soldiers enrolled in treatment programs for alcohol dependency or abuse has nearly doubled since 2003 — a sign of the growing stress of repeated deployments in Iraq and Afghanistan, according to Army statistics and interviews.

Soldiers diagnosed by Army substance abuse counselors with alcoholism or alcohol abuse, such as binge drinking, increased from 6.1 per 1,000 soldiers in 2003 to an estimated 11.4 as of March 31, according to the data. The latest data cover the first six months of the fiscal year that began in October.

“We’re seeing a lot of alcohol consumption,” Gen. Peter Chiarelli, the Army’s vice chief of staff, told top officers during a briefing on the Army’s growing number of suicides.

In a statement to USA TODAY, Adm. Michael Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, expressed concern. “I’m sure there are many factors for the rising numbers (of enrollments) … but I can’t believe the stress our people are under after eight years of combat isn’t taking a toll,” he said.

Likewise, Marines who screen positive for drug or alcohol problems increased 12% from 2005 to 2008, according to Marine Corps statistics. In addition, there were 1,060 drunken-driving cases involving Marines during the first seven months of fiscal 2009, which began in October, compared with 1,430 cases in all of fiscal 2008.

In an interview last week, Marine Corps Sgt. Maj. Carlton Kent said alcohol abuse is an indication of the stress, particularly with the ongoing cycle of combat deployments. “Alcohol can tie into a lot of things, and we’re just keeping a close eye on it,” Kent said.

Mullen and Chiarelli said the U.S. needs to reduce the overall number of deployed troops as planned to ease the strain.

Concerns about alcohol abuse led Chiarelli to issue a memo in May urging commanders to treat and, where necessary under Army rules, punish soldiers who test positive for substance abuse or fail blood-alcohol tests. During a visit to six Army installations this year, Chiarelli said, he found hundreds of cases where soldiers who failed those tests, in some cases more than once, were not treated for the problem or processed for possible discharge, as required by Army regulation.

Enrollments in drug abuse treatment programs have remained largely unchanged in the Army during the war, rising from 3.7 per 1,000 in 2003 to an estimated 4.2 as of May.

Chiarelli said top staff officers might not properly deal with the problem because of a need to “keep their numbers up” for combat deployments.

He said identifying and treating substance and alcohol abuse will help improve the Army’s mental health care and curb suicides, which reached a record 142 cases in 2008. There have been 82 confirmed or suspected suicides this year among active-duty, compared with 51 for the same period in 2008.