Behavioral Patterns: Learned or Genetic?
Where in the world did I get this behavior? I swear it started young young, before I’d learned it from anyone. Don’t get me started on why. Why, why why!?
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A friend I’ve worked with for the past year asked me to jump in with him on a discussion of the origin of his addiction. He walked out of treatment after five days, and wonders still why his family is not “supporting him in his recovery” even though each time recovery pops up he turns the other way and runs.
He is sidetracked by the why and the where questions. Where did I get this? And why?
From my experience the origin has to do with genetics, family of origin, and experience. One, two or a mixture of three in various states of undress. The question of why though is a distraction. I had to stop, and stay stopped, and then the question of why began to reveal itself.
One way we look at this question is with the Family Map. It’s called the genogram, and shows in patterns, shapes, and dates the history and how it relates to the now. A tool in helping understand and get our heads around the problem in the effort to solve it.
The Fix. It’s not impossible, no matter how it feels right now.